Member-only story
Sometimes, I Like Being Alone
It’s nothing personal
I’m an introvert. As long as I can remember, I have been shy, which I think has been caused by anxiety.
I was diagnosed with anxiety in my first year of college, and have been working on it for most of my life. But even now, I’d often rather be doing an independent activity, like writing, than be with others.
When I was in college, I tried to eat in the cafeteria with my friends, but often found it too nerve-wracking. I started finding a hidden-away corner in the library every day. I’d eat my lunch, listen to music with earbuds, and study.
Over a decade later, I’m much more social, but my habits largely haven’t changed. Yes, I don’t leave parties early as often, and I have no trouble speaking up in meetings, but lots of interactions with other people can leave me feeling drained.
I’d rather be curled up with a cat, a cup of coffee, and a book than attend a loud party. It’s just the way I’m wired. Walking through a secluded garden makes me happy and energized. There’s evidence that being outside can be beneficial to everyone, though, so you don’t need to be an introvert to enjoy the effects. A study found that walking through nature can decrease stress, and allow a brief escape from daily life.
