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When a Professional Relationship Turns Abusive
How to identify it and get away
When I first started my career as a writer, I naively thought that I could tell when someone was bad news. But people who are abusive in professional or work situations can act just like abusers in romantic relationships. They don’t play their hand right away.
Many years ago, when I was new to writing, I had what I thought was a fellow writing friend. We sent each other emails almost daily. Some things were a bit odd. For example, she didn’t want me to talk to certain writers. I thought she was just being fragile. I didn’t want to rock the boat. After all, she was critiquing a piece I wrote, saying I was a great writer.
Then, when she saw I was tweeting on a popular writing hashtag, she angrily emailed me that I was betraying her. Because I was chatting with other people.
Sorry, what?
I confronted her right back about it, saying that telling me I could not talk to certain people or tweet certain things was abusive. She tried to guilt me into staying “loyal” to her, but to no avail. Our friendship went down in flames.
She then messaged all our friends that I was a terrible writer. Was it vindictive, or did she really think that? Who knows. Since then, I’ve learned a lot about abuse, and…
